According to the song by Bob Marley & The Wailers there are “Three little birds pitch by my doorstep”. Well that’s Bob’s story, and this is mine.
Recently as I walked to the kitchen, I noticed something outside the window flying around my three-season screened in porch, and this was abnormal. The porch is completely screened in, except for a tear at the bottom of one of the screens which I had been meaning to fix, but in my façade of normalcy nobody from the street can actually see the tear, so is it really there?

I sipped my coffee and looked out the window to watch the bird fly back and forth unsuccessful in his escape from the porch. As I watched I engineered solution in my head about how I could help guide the bird back to the hole in the screen in which it entered.
It kept flying (and pooping) near the tear in the screen, but he couldn’t quite figure out his exit strategy. I went out to the porch and moved a piece of furniture that I figured would help guide the bird’s migration. Didn’t work…

Now his friends were in the bush located next to the porch outside coaching him, but he wasn’t getting it. So one of his friends decided to come on in and help him out. Then I had two little birds outside my doorstep, not singing “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!” Instead their lyrics were more of something like this “Oh God, we’re gonna die, die for sure”!

A third bird propped itself in the bush just outside the screen, and this is when I flew into action. I went to the kitchen, grabbed a box cutter and thought about which screen was best to remove. The torn one? The one the bird kept smashing his little bird body into? I was not sure, he seemed to have short term memory loss of the original entrance / exit location.

To my delight, when I returned, there were no more birds. Apparently #3 was the wisest of the bunch and managed to coaxed them out from their original location. I went out to the porch to verify this was the case, and that I wouldn’t have three little dead birds outside my doorstep in the spring. Nope, they were gone, they flew the coop, friends of a feather they flocked together.
Will I fix the tear in the screen in the spring? Depends on how many birds enter from this point forward.